Forgiveness In Understandingfeatured

Some days my heart over flows with emotion, like the ocean waves violently crashing against a ship in the middle of a storm. I can’t control the bursts of tears in the way I feel from bouncing from one extreme to the other. So much power and energy flowing through me, like electricity to a cord wanting to light up the room. How intense the magnitude of strength that it takes to wield and release it. My heart is healing from the chaos and destruction, even now after all these years.   

There are moments when my swollen chest feels like the earth is swallowing it whole and my soul aches heavily with pain. A wave of anxiety pouring over me, triggering the insurmountable tears, untethered shakes, and shallow breaths. My body feels immobile, crippled by the fear of being trapped by a presence that refuses to leave me. I know what lurks in the shadows, a crackled creature that hungers on the sins of human flesh with a penance of the wicked.

In the middle of an empty church, a stained-glass barrier stands between us, outlining your figure with decisiveness and grace. It’s kinder than I expected. The knowledge of the truth breaks down through my mind. Finally, I realize that two souls can be tangled and hung by the same cord, never knowing that it can be released by free will. I press my hand up against the glass, hoping you can feel my spirit around you. I’m learning to find peace behind the veil, like a movie playing out on the screen of a giant TV; unraveling scene by scene with fluid character development.

It’s in these moments, when I’m hunted like an innocent animal in the woods falling victim to its unseen killer, my knees grow weaker and I fall to the ground below. The darkness creeping in upon my back, pulling me back to the shadows and unseen realm. Limb by limb, I lose myself to the chaos. My heart cries out begging to understand the madness of what happened as I am purged of my wholeness. Who would do such a thing to another?

If only I could just forgive you.