Coffee Shop Moments: On The Corner of Hazel & Beanfeatured

Stepping through the doors of my apartment complex out next to the city streets, I am greeted by the beautiful sunlight peering over the tall skyscrapers and a loud hum from the traffic buzzing in front of me. It’s a nice day in the city to get out and explore the area around the complex. A few streets down there’s a music festival going on where people are gathered to hear several local and well-known bands play their set.

Every year the city puts on a big three-day festival which draws a lot of attention from people all around the area. Parking as you can imagine is horrendous in a city as big as ours and can take hours to get out of depending on when you leave. It’s not hard to locate where the festival is playing as loud music can be heard even a few streets down from where I’m standing.

Crowds of people walking on the sidewalk, who are on their way to the festival, are too busy to take much notice to me as I join them on the sidewalk while walking to the corner of Carpenter Avenue to catch the Metro Station. As I do on most Sunday’s, I plan to take a stroll around Central Park and finish my afternoon at a local coffee shop called Hazel & Bean. This place is one of the best places in the city grab a tasty fresh cup o’ joe and it doesn’t hurt that there’s a pretty barista who’s always working when I go in. On a day like today a fresh cup a coffee to soothe my busy mind is just what I need.

Fresh off the Metro and while walking through the vibrantly colored summer view of the park, with people laughing and smiling among each other, I am reminded that lately life has not felt as particularly spirited to me. This routine mundane cycle of sleep and work has captivated my existence for the last two weeks. Overwhelmed with multiple projects at work, the stress has been all but bearable in the evenings when I’ve returned home.

My brown and red tiger tabby cat, Archie, has been quick to greet me with a stern hello upon my arrival. While showing his disapproval of my long-extended hours at work, he finds moments to curl up next to me on the couch before bedtime. Even with a small amount of time to decompress and relax before a new day starts over, the price I’m paying to sustain this chaos might not be worth the sanity it’s costing. I realize that I’m either going to have to find a way to take some time off or a way out of this madness.

Pensive thoughts unfold as I’m lost within this moment left unraveling the world around me. With the coffee shop in sight I am comforted by my surroundings. The smell of crisp carmel sweetness and a hint of almond circle the air above as my senses are overloaded with anticipation. The most recognizable fragrance of them all – the smell of coffee – entering my lungs as I open the door to my favorite café.

As I walk in, I notice that the place is not that busy today. There’s a couple – a man and a woman – sitting close together almost side by side laughing as he quietly whispers little nothings inside her ear. Another pair of lovebirds parading their sensual heated entanglement for the world to see. It’s no surprise coffee shops bring out the animal in all of us. As I approach the counter to place my order, I see the same barista step out from behind the espresso machine to greet me as she always does when I come in.

“Are you getting your usual today? We just made a fresh pot of our Medium Colombian Roast about 10 minutes ago.”

I want to tell her how the shimmering blue light of her eyes always somehow matches her makeup while her friendly smile entrances me every time she speaks. Her long blonde hair, falling around her shoulders, accentuates her slender figure as she inevitably appears seamlessly stunning. I’m tempted to inquire whether she’s seeing anyone, but as beautiful as she is, I’d be crazy to think she wasn’t already taken. Instead, I simply respond and acknowledge her question.

‘Yes, although could you please leave some room at the top for cream and sugar?’

Laughing while ringing up my order, she responds, ‘You’ve been coming here to the same coffee shop almost every Sunday for the last year and a half. I’ve noticed how you like your coffee and how much cream and sugar you always seem to add in. I might even know you a little better than you think.’

‘Is that so? And what exactly does my coffee and occasional bakery orders say about me?’ I respond with a smile.

‘That you are a creature of habit. You’d be surprised what I’ve come to observe about you when you’re here. Let me get your order started and it should be up in a few minutes.’

As she walks away, I am mystified by how routine I must always appear to be to her. It’s true I have been coming here for the last year or so, occasionally ordering tasty bakery items off the menu, and sitting down close to the window while getting lost in my depurative thoughts. Each time I’m here she’s always working at the counter serving drinks to the bustling customers coming in and out of the shop. I hadn’t really noticed her observing me from afar before. I guess maybe I share more about myself than I realized.

Handing me my drink, she flashes me with her genuine smile while making me weak in the knees. As always, I’ve got to catch my breath. In order to not seem so mesmerized by her charm, I share a half smile and thank her for the coffee as I turn to find an empty chair near the corner, away from the passionate couple, next to the window. It’s time to decompress and explore the reasons of why I’m here today, of all days.

The people rushing outside the window on the city street catch my eye as they barricade past one another with hopes to quickly get where they are going. Although complete strangers to one another, they are too busy to take notice of the disruptive world around them as they engulf themselves in their phones and music. No one appears to talk to one another, as if the fear of conversation would be a detrimental distraction.

A man in a bright blue jacket has in a pair of wireless earbuds and is talking to what looks like thin air. I can tell he’s on the phone with someone, as his laugh is visible from the turn of heads from the people around him looking to see where the noise is coming from. Ignoring the woman in front of him, he bumps into her unapologetically and continues to walk across the crosswalk as the traffic light turns red. The lady offended by the lack of respect from the man yells at him at the top of her lungs in order to grab his attention.

Unfortunately, he’s too busy on the phone to take notice of her booming voice or to care about correcting the altercation. To him it appears as if nothing sensible has happened. It is evident, the human connection is being erased and fading linguistically from our societal culture. How little we truly engage and connect with each other without the presence of some form of technology.

As I look to take a sip of my coffee, out of the corner of my eye I can see the barista at the counter looking in my general direction. I wonder what she’s staring at. Is it me? Did I spill something on myself? Afraid to make eye contact and seem awkward, I quickly look down at my shirt and pants to make sure I haven’t silently spilt coffee on me. Thankful no coffee stains can be found, I look over to the passionate couple who are still sitting a few tables away from me, trying to avoid the pretty barista’s gaze. If I don’t look, I won’t inadvertently show my emotions on my sleeve. It’s not that I’m not interested in making a move, but there’s always something holding me back.

While still completely fixated on one another, the sound of frequent kisses fills the air from where the couple is sitting. The guy’s body has been re-positioned and is pressed much closer, if only centimeters, away from the lady sitting next him while his arm is wrapped tightly around her lower half.  Giggling continues to ensue as the woman clinches her blue flower dress, filling the shop with eye-rolling expressions, each time he whispers a few words in her in and then goes in for a kiss.

Their infatuation for each other overpours into the personal spaces of the eyes and ears of onlookers in the coffee shop. If it wasn’t for the way she was blushing and smiling, I would assume he was just interested in devouring human flesh. At least each of us in the coffee shop are aware of what these two lovebirds have on their minds, whether our intuitive interest is peaked or not.

Diverting my eyes back to the people on the street while taking another sip of my coffee, I begin to imagine the possibility of whether the cute barista had been observing me a few moments earlier. It’s been two years since I last went down that long winding path with someone else and it didn’t end as I had imagined. I remember barely making it out of that relationship alive, with my heart beating slowly in my hands, as my partner moved out of our apartment and the state to follow her creative pursuits.

In the end, we were living together building our lives as individuals without the joint effort of building together as one. As a woman and person of deep emotion, I was devastated to learn that she saw no future together for us in the long run but had given me the impression that she did. She had never stated she felt this way and had only provided me with the response when it was mentioned that we had been growing apart for a while. I guess she had felt more comfort and connection from her desires of creative freedom than those of romantic interests in the four years we had spent together.

She had asked to remain friends when we separated, which felt awkward knowing that I was still in love with her and that things would never be the same between us. I’m not sure how people transition so easily from being completely in love with someone to only being their friend. Overwhelmed with emotion, I tried really hard to respect her decision, but ultimately my heart just couldn’t do it. When she moved away, I felt obligated to keep my distance and hoped that she would find happiness in her travels.

In hindsight, I should’ve seen the warning signs that things were not as they appeared. Since our separation it had been an emotional roller coaster ride to find the missing pieces of my soul and restore the fibers of my life with meaning and personal fulfillment. Being single for the last two years allowed me the time I needed to move forward with my life. Even now, the thought of involving someone else in the picture adds things to the mix that I’m not quite sure would work.

‘I just don’t know if I’m ready.’ I say aloud to myself while taking another sip of my drink.

‘Ready for what exactly?’ A familiar voice questioned.

Shaken from my thoughts and startled, I turned my head to see where the sweet voice was coming from. The beautiful barista is patiently standing next to my table. I hadn’t noticed her presence or that she had managed to walk over next to me.  

‘I’m sorry?’ I asked, staring into her eyes and not understanding what she was asking.

‘I just came over to give you this and as I approached you, you stated ‘you didn’t know if you were ready’. I’m not sure what that means but I wanted you to have this.’

Looking down towards her outstretched hand appeared to be a handwritten note with a telephone number listed on it. The name ‘Stacy’ visibly written on the note matched her name tag located on the left corner of her black apron.

‘I was thinking if you were free later tonight, maybe we could go hangout after work. That is if you aren’t seeing anyone.’ She shyly replied.

‘S-s-sure. I mean, yes, I would love to hangout after you get off of work. I am not currently seeing anyone. Did you want to go grab a bite to eat?’

‘Yes, but I don’t get off until seven o’clock which is a few hours from now. Here’s my address. I live on the west side of the city, so why don’t you meet me at my place. There’s a little restaurant about a block away that we can go to for food. Does that sound okay?’

‘Absolutely, I’ll see you around eight o’clock, at your place.’ I expressed excitably as I smiled widely towards to her gleaming face.

‘Cool, I’ll see you then. Can’t wait!’, she exclaimed as she turned to hurriedly walk back to the counter where a customer was waiting to place their order.

Perplexed at how fast the conversation had cascaded over me, the realization that it had been two years since the last time I went out on a date filled me with dread.

Do I remember how this works? What do I wear? Do I bring flowers? Is that too much? A beautiful girl shows a little interest in you and suddenly you forget how to go out on a date. You’re a woman in her thirties. Way to forget how this works, Ali.

Unsure of how much the dating scene had changed within the last two years to now, or if I was just panicking, I proceeded to take another sip of my coffee.    

‘Shit. I have a date tonight with a beautiful blue-eyed barista. I better go home and get ready.’