Communication & Self-Awareness: Step Away from the Light Socket.featured

I don’t know about you, but I am happy that this week is finally over and the weekend is here. The chance to lay in bed a little longer, sleep in past our alarms, and snuggle with our covers is always a wonderful mini vacation away from our adult responsibilities. It’s my favorite time to bask in the knowledge that I don’t have to climb out of bed for either most or all of the day, while lounging around periodically to munch on food & water for sustainability. In order to live and thrive, one must find ways to stay alive. I just happen to like doing it from the comfort of my bed.

It is never a bad thing to take time out to relax, regroup, and reconnect with yourself. Sometimes silence is truly golden. But have you ever noticed just how emotionally plugged in we all are to social media, the news, politics, our surroundings, etc.? We (and I use this term loosely since as a group of people we are part of a collective) are so passionately wrapped in our own personal feelings and position standpoints that we freely share our perspectives with anyone who is willing (or not so willing) to listen to what we want them to know or understand. The level of intensity at which people are positioning themselves and drawing that line in the sand (not to be crossed) is almost eye popping.

Sometimes I think we forget to unplug ourselves from the light socket and turn ourselves off for a bit. With such a strong underlying desire for people to be understood by their peers, it’s questionable to understand whether we’re missing out on how to communicate with others or the self-awareness it takes to understand both sides of the narrative. We recognize that we’re emotionally intelligent beings. But while the emotions are effervescently present, we’re forgetting to bring the intelligence part with us.

Imagine two people in a dating relationship who have recently broken up. Each person goes and tells their friends and family about how the relationship fell apart and why the couple is no longer together. Person A explains that Person B cheated and that is why they are no longer dating. Person B explains that they were on a break with Person A, when they became entangled with Person C. There are two perspectives here: one where someone cheated and another where two people were on a break. In order to understand the full scope of the situation, both perspectives are needed. Hearing only one side of the situation creates the impression that there was a lack of communication between Person A and Person B. If only this couple had communicated with one another they may have understood what was going on in their relationship.

While this example is easy to understand, it is very common that people forget to consider both sides. Communicating requires people to discuss their perspectives while listening and attempting to understand where the other is coming from. Not everyone is able to always understand both sides, but at least they’ve tried to do so. It’s a lot harder to do this when people listen to respond instead of listening to understand. It’s as if people are saying, “Yeah, I heard what you said. But it’s more important to me to defend my point and where I’m coming from instead.”

I guess the biggest question is, how are we (as a collective) able to grow and develop individually when the basis of invaluable knowledge comes from learning from each other? Some of the best advice I’ve ever received came at a time when I was not ready to hear it. Although I delayed applying it, when I was ready to address the issues I started asking questions and listening to what was being said more often. From those experiences, I learned that I could do a better job at effective communication because I wasn’t truly listening. If I had been, maybe I wouldn’t have encountered the problems that I did. Another life lesson logged in the books!

Being objective and self-aware are other important components that fall under the emotionally intelligent umbrella. There are several books that have been published that discuss the background and usefulness of how the contents of being emotionally intelligent have helped people both in their professional and personal life’s. Individuals who are self-aware analyze their emotions and thoughts to better grasp why they act, think and do the things they do. As a result, they can better understand others and build stronger relationships. What a difference this makes in interpersonal connectedness!

Empathy and compassion are never two qualities this world would be better off without. Each of us gives and receives energy every day. Whether it’s through the things we do, the environment we interact with, people we encounter, or through the thoughts that buzz through our minds. We are constantly exchanging energy. Since interacting with other human beings is an obligatory thing, what’s the harm in bringing these attributes and qualities with us to our conversations? Most businesses who host a business meeting don’t expect a presenter to show up without bringing materials to distribute to the group. So why should we forget to bring our ability to be understanding with us?

Although this is an individual and personal choice, it is something we could work better on. Let’s increase the value of the relationships we have with ourselves and with others. Maybe by becoming effective communicators and being self-aware it will decrease the number of misunderstandings and offended people throughout the world. I’m not saying that that’s the ultimate answer, but it’s certainly food for thought.

With Light & Love ♥